Everything is Better in a Tortilla
by SkyChasingDreamer
Summary: Hijikata moves into a neighborhood and becomes the object of a certain natural perm's affections. AU FIC.


**Title**: Everything is Better in a Tortilla  
><strong>Pairing<strong>: Gintoki/Hijikata  
><strong>Rating<strong>: T  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: No**  
><strong>

**Everything is Better in a Tortilla**

Hijikata wakes in a familiar room that isn't his own, but might as well be. He's alone in the bed, but he can feel the spot next to him is still warm, so Gintoki can't have been gone for long. Hijikata doesn't try to move, just breathing tells him how sore he is from the night before and he _almost _can't be grouchy, because goddamn, that had been fantastic.

Six months earlier, Hijikata had moved into this neighborhood and on his very first day had met Gintoki. It'd started out simple, Gintoki had helped him carry his stuff inside, they'd talked, bantered, he'd seemed so normal then. But, no, it turned out that not only was Gintoki insane, but the whole neighborhood was nuts. Seriously, if it wasn't the crazy woman across the street with glasses for a brother, it was the one-eye dojo master that was in love with her, or the two red heads down the way with the huge ass dog, or the man that slept in a dog house, or the old woman that sat on her porch smoking, or the second one-eyed person that visited the guy who wouldn't stop insisting what his name was.

Dysfunction everywhere.

And yet it'd taken Gintoki only a month to work his way into the very epicenter of Hijikata's life. A month of late night calls, random appearances, coercion by way of cigarettes and mayonnaise, entirely salacious and unashamed flirting, and, most damning, Hijikata was happy whenever that stupid man was around. Because when Gintoki wasn't dipping into the psychotic, he was charming, dangerously so. Hijikata was convinced that Gintoki didn't mean to be that way, it was just how he was, or maybe seemed that way because it appealed to Hijikata so much. Either way, it got to the point that when he sent a text, Hijikata found himself blushing up to his ears even if the blasted thing only said something as ambiguous as, _One of my hydrangeas might be sentient, stay tuned. _

Which, by the way, everyone is now convinced the stupid thing _is _sentient and so steer clear of it at all costs. The day Gintoki had tried to dig it up and get rid of it had been such a disaster and Hijikata is fairly certain Gintoki hasn't fully recovered. They don't talk about the hydrangea anymore, it's a sore topic.

Anyway, before long, right around week three, Hijikata was looking forward to anything that had to do with Gintoki. On the days he didn't see the bastard he was usually put into a bad mood, something Sougo had been the first to notice. Of course, that had led to exuberant teasing, though, Kondo had remained on the oblivious because he was too distracted by the aforementioned crazy woman across the street with glasses for a brother.

Is he really glasses or is this a megane joke about a human being? The reader may never know.

Some might think that Gintoki had been the one to make the first move, but not so. Come week four when Hijikata was spending his nights thinking about the permy freak and rutting either into his bed or the funnel of his hand, that's when he knew he had to do something. So, one night when Gintoki had come over to make dinner together, something they'd made a habit of doing three to four times a week, Hijikata had gulped and tentatively – the definition of tentatively here can be replaced with noun: stuttering, to stutter – suggested that they go out.

Gintoki had just shrugged and agreed like it was no big deal and, in theory, it shouldn't have been, but it was everything to Hijikata. It was a date. It was spending the evening out in public with the man that had been plaguing his every thought and he'd been a wreck. So much so that he'd thrown the keys to Gintoki and told him to drive because Hijikata was sure he'd end up driving them off them road with the way his hands had been shaking. Gintoki hadn't thought much of that either, only taken the keys and driven them downtown while keeping up easy small talk the entire way, he was good at that shit.

They'd had dinner at a casual place that served breakfast all day and, apparently, had some of the best desserts. Gintoki was so _easy _to talk to, it felt natural, and Hijikata had been able to enjoy the meal even while his stomach was doing things that defied the laws of physics. They'd gone on a short walk afterward and Hijikata had had ample time to tell Gintoki how he felt, but he'd chickened out. Okay, that's mean, he hadn't chickened out, logic had won out, that's what happened. He'd begun thinking about how much he'd come to rely on and enjoy Gintoki's friendship in such a short time and the idea of losing that was terrifying.

So terrifying that he'd frozen up so much that Gintoki had asked if he was feeling okay. After he'd gotten out that he was fine, Gintoki got them back to the car to drive him home. The entire way, Hijikata had been angry at himself and it'd put him in such a bad mood that the ride had been silent except for the low white noise of the radio. Gintoki parked the car in Hijikata's drive – the garage had still been full of moving shit at the time – and the rest went like this:

_Hijikata gets out of the car, gut sunken down to the depths of the Hell with self-loathing and honestly, he's ready to get struck by lightning. He glances up at the sky, ah, not a cloud to be seen, what a shame. He looks down at the ground next while Gintoki is locking the car and walking around, hoping it will swallow him up, but no luck there, either. _

_ "Here are your keys back," Gintoki says and Hijikata holds his hand out without looking up, brow twitching._

_ "Thanks," Hijikata gets out, but he has so much more to say than that. Teeth clenching, he turns and heads for the door and he doesn't notice that Gintoki is next to him until they reach the porch. Glancing over, Hijikata raises a brow. "You wantin' to come inside?"_

_ Gintoki's mouth twists. "Careful, that can mean two things."_

_ It takes Hijikata second, a very long second, but he gets it and when he does his whole body turns red and he's spluttering, "Y-you can't – that's n-not wha-at I was – oh my _god_, you b-bastard!"_

_ Gintoki laughs and waves his hands in shushing motions. "I was kidding! I only wanted to walk you to the door, that's all."_

_ Hijikata stops breathing. "Why would y-you wanna do that?"_

_ "It'd be rude not to on a first date, don't you think?"_

_ Hijikata must look as completely blown away as he feels because Gintoki's smile gets bigger and it's such a soft look that it sets Hijikata's insides squirming. He can't move, he's the deer in the headlights, he's statuesque and frozen. Gintoki's hand comes up and covers his eyes and he still can't breathe, even less so when there's a quiet rustling of clothes before Gintoki's lips touch his own. It's the simplest, sweetest kiss of Hijikata's life and it breaks his immobility. His knees go so weak he has to reach out and grab onto Gintoki, fingers curling and clutching at him all because of a chaste kiss that lasts no more than a few seconds. _

_ Gintoki pulls back and there is no reason Hijikata should be panting as hard as he is. His eyes have closed under Gintoki's hand and his fingers feel numb and his lips are tingling. _

_ "I'll see you tomorrow," Gintoki whispers near his ear and then he's pulling away. _

_ Hijikata's fingers have lost all clutching ability and let him go before his arms fall heavily to his sides. His eyes crack open and he watches Gintoki go across the street, his cheeks so hot he might have a temperature. Gintoki looks over his shoulder and smiles as he steps onto the walk to his door and trips over the edge of the concrete. He goes sprawling into the grass, narrowly missing the sprinkler and there's this moment of stunned silence after Gintoki's little scream and Hijikata just loses it. _

_ He's not really the laughing type, but for this, right now when he's so happy it feels like his chest is about to burst open, he let's his laughter rip. It comes barreling out of him because Gintoki is still splayed out in the grass and he's laughing too and that just makes it so much better. Hijikata laughs until he can't breathe and his stomach hurts and there are tears in his eyes, he can't remember a time he'd laughed so hard at something so stupid. _

_ Gintoki slowly gets to his feet, bows, and calls, "Goodnight, asshole!"_

_ Hijikata can only flap a hand in response._

And that's how their first date had gone, Hijikata smiles remembering it. Their second one had happened immediately after and had started like this:

_Hijikata has dressed for the day and that whole thing with Gintoki the night before still has him feeling loopy. Just thinking about it brings a twisted smile to his face and that's why he quickly finishes at the house so he can head over. He hasn't been invited, but Gintoki has dropped by his house enough times to make him feel like he has every right to do the same. He's checking himself in the mirror again, making sure he doesn't look too frazzled and that his clothes are casual, he doesn't want to seem like he's trying to impress the bastard any. _

_ Ready, he heads for the door, his heart already pounding. He opens the front door and Gintoki is standing their, arm raised to know. He's got Hijikata's morning newspaper in the crook of his arm and he eeps quietly in surprise._

_ "I know you're supposed to wait a bit after a first date, but there's a squirrel conspiracy going on in your front yard and I thought I'd save your newspaper," Gintoki says and lowers his arm. _

_ Hijikata doesn't wait, he takes Gintoki's face between his hands and launches himself at the other. Gintoki drops the newspaper and wraps Hijikata up with strong arms around his waist, lifting him up off the ground as they kiss and Hijikata's fingers dig into Gintoki's hair._

That's what happened, a lot of kissing on Hijikata's front porch with the door hanging wide open and a newspaper at their feet. And now, five months later, Hijikata wakes up late in the morning wondering when he'd ever thought that Sundays should be used for anything other than this. The door is cracked open, there's a faint glow coming in and it's just enough to see by. He's always been grateful that Gintoki's room has thick window shades that don't let a single ray of sunlight in, which keeps the room dark.

He peeks his eyes open when he hears Gintoki come in and snorts at his boyfriend's robe and slippers. It's a sight he's seen many times, but it's no less amusing each time.

"I heard that," Gintoki says and he's got a cup in one hand. He sits on the edge of the bed and rubs Hijikata's back with one hand as he leans down to kiss his shoulder. "Brought you some water." Hijikata groans and Gintoki keeps rubbing his back. "No coffee until you take some meds and get at least a little water."

Groaning again to emphasize his displeasure – he's a coffee person – and raises his sore self onto his elbows. "I came _five _times last night."

"I know!" Gintoki replies, sounding pleased. "Barely anything was coming out toward the end, that was great."

"Ugh, just gimme the water."

Gintoki opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out some painkillers. He hands Hijikata the cup and gets a couple pills that Hijikata downs while Gintoki continues rubbing and kissing along his back. Once he starts drinking, he can't stop, the water tastes too good and he hadn't realized how parched he'd been.

"Thanks," Gintoki mumbles, taking the empty cup and putting it on the nightstand since Hijikata can't reach.

For his part, Hijikata folds his arms under his head and lets Gintoki's touch relax him. It's so easy to do, he's always at ease around Gintoki, just being with him makes Hijikata happy.

"Is that breakfast I smell?"

Gintoki smiles against the back of Hijikata's neck where he's nosing. "Yeah, it's almost done. M'gonna bring it to you 'cause we're gonna have breakfast in bed."

"Sounds nice," Hijikata slurs and moans when Gintoki gets down to massaging at his hips.

"Oi."

"Mm?"

"Why don't you just move in already?" Gintoki asks, not for the first time. "You're here most of the time as it is."

The past times Gintoki had asked, Hijikata's response had always been, _It's too soon_. But now...

"Ask me again after breakfast."

Gintoki pauses and presses his forehead to Hijikata's shoulder. "Why?"

"So that when I say okay I'll have some energy back to handle your excited ass," Hijikata replies, his face blushing, but his voice steady – he's sure about this.

The huge smile that Hijikata can feel against his skin is the most gratifying thing.

"I think I'll go get breakfast now."

**THE END**


End file.
